Bronco's Rough Ride (Bad Boys of Beta Squad, 0.5) Read online

  Seconds ticked by recorded only by her heartbeats. She resisted the urge to rip the covers away and hold him. I’ll be dead before I can get close. He had too much training in hand-to-hand and regret only came after safety was attained.

  “Are we secure?”

  “We’re secure, John. Can I take your hand? Would that help ground you?” Lindsey locked her arms to her sides and forced herself to wait.

  “How do I know you’re the real Lindsey?” He didn’t have to tell her he worried her cover had been blown.

  Lindsey took a deep breath and thought back to the conversations they’d had in private.

  “I know your nickname is Bronco and you’re a US Navy SEAL. I told you I’m a coffee snob when you said you prefer your coffee black, and I’m a US Army vet.” Lindsey paused for breath. She suspected she’d missed a few other details, but she didn’t want to waste time. “I know you were on a PCS when you stopped in Vegas for some R&R, and your specialty is interrogation. All these details ringing true, Bronco?”

  John didn’t say anything, but his body hadn’t relaxed yet, the muscle in his neck standing out against the skin like organic ropes. He really is beautiful even when he’s liable to kill me. She wished he’d verify her responses quickly, but her mother always said patience was key and they had to stand strong when her father couldn’t. Gotta be strong for John now.

  “Lindsey?”

  “Yes, John?”

  “I can’t see anything clearly. The shadows are shifting around too much.”

  “I’m right beside the bed, John. If I have your permission, I can free your hand and hold it.”

  “Permission granted.”

  Lindsey exhaled the breath she didn’t know she’d been holding and reached for the tangled blankets. “This is me, John. I’m pulling back the covers to give you more range of motion.” She kept her voice even as she tugged the camping bag away from his body. Sweat soaked his shirt and matted his hair, but he held perfectly still. “I’m going to free your whole body so anything you feel around your legs or hips is just me. I’m right here, John.”

  She kept tugging at the blankets and when she freed his torso and legs, she returned to the side of the bed and grasped his hand.

  “I’ve got you, John. I’m holding your hand. Can you see anything better yet?”

  “No.”

  “Okay. I’m right here. Do you need me to shut up or keep talking?” Sometimes her father had needed silence. Sometimes he’d needed her mother’s soothing voice. Back then no one had a name for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but Marian Jarvis had instinctively known how to deal with it. Her dad had been able to face life at home because of her.

  “Please talk to me.” For all John’s stillness, his body lay rigid with tension and his hand closed tightly around hers.

  “Okay, John. I told you my dad was in the Army, right?” John nodded. “He got drafted for Vietnam and when he came home he had what they called shell-shock back then. Nobody had a name for PTSD. It was a big surprise when he’d get angry over me or my sister dropping things or making loud noises. He hated the fireworks on the Fourth of July or New Year’s, and he started avoiding family gatherings and large crowds.”

  Lindsey could still picture her father’s white face every time a car backfired.

  “At first, none of us knew what to do. My sister and I were too little to really understand anything other than dad was just angry all the time. But my mom, she was pretty special.” A smile curled Lindsey’s lips at the memory of her tall, slender mother facing down the bear her father had become. She’d shown patient determination to protect their children from his overwhelming ferocity. “She somehow knew what to do to bring back the man she’d married. She knew how to reconnect with him even before doctors and psychologists understood what PTSD was.”

  John’s body slowly relaxed as Lindsey talked, his breathing slowing. “This was back in the 1970’s and I was just a little kid, but some of my friends’ parents blamed the soldiers for the war. I used to come home crying because my friends told me my daddy was a baby killer. I was only four.” Anger rumbled in her gut for the injustice her dad had gone through. “It still pisses me off to this day. It wasn’t their choice to go overseas. Some of them didn’t even get a choice about joining the Army. My mom caught all sorts of shit from the hippie peace movement for being married to and supporting a veteran, but I can definitely say she knew more about making love than most of them ever did. She never spewed hate and she never attacked anyone for choosing to stay home for peace or go off to war. She was amazing.”

  “Is your mom still alive?” John’s whisper brought Lindsey back to the present.

  “I think so. I haven’t seen her or my dad for over two years.” Tears threatened to build up as sorrow filled her chest. God, I’m so ready to be done undercover. She hadn’t realized how much she missed her family until now. “I had to cut all personal ties when I went undercover.”

  “I’m sorry, Lindsey. Family is important.” John sounded more settled as if some of the demons had faded.

  “You’re right, which is why I want out of this gig. But I don’t regret taking this assignment. It gave me a chance to meet you.” Lindsey stopped before she said more. Damn, girl, are you falling for this guy? You hardly know him.

  John snorted. “You count meeting me as a good thing?”

  Lindsey weighed her responses. “Meeting you is a good thing. The circumstances surrounding that meeting? Not on my list of favorites.”

  He grunted with what sounded like amusement. “I think I would’ve chosen a different setting to meet you, too. But I’m glad you were there.”

  She tried not to read too much into his words. Relax, he’s just grateful you got him out. There’s nothing more to it. But her heart wanted to do a very girly happy dance over it.

  “Are you feeling a little better?” She rubbed the back of his hand in gentle circles with her thumbs. “Do you need any water?”

  “I’d like some water, but I don’t want you to let go.” His hand tightened on hers.

  “I won’t let go, John. I promise.” She sighed and leaned back against the small bedside table. Not the most comfortable position, but she refused to release John’s hand. “I’ll be right here as long as you need me.”

  “I need you, Lindsey. Could you lie down next to me on the bed?” John’s jaw clenched and he swallowed hard. “It’ll be easier to fall asleep if I can feel you beside me. I just need to know you’re here with me. If you’re here, I know I’m secure.”

  His level of trust in her struck Lindsey momentarily dumb. She’d once asked her dad how he’d climbed out of the hole of PTSD. He’d told her it all came down to trusting her mother to let him know when the bad stuff he thought he saw was actually real. If she remained calm, he knew he didn’t have to fight. To be given that level of trust from John humbled Lindsey.

  “Of course I can, John.” She rolled to her feet without releasing his hand. “I’m going to let go of your hand just long enough to turn off the light and walk around the bed. It shouldn’t take me more than ten seconds. Okay?”

  “Roger that.” Tension bled into his voice, but he let go of her hand.

  Lindsey wasted no time turning off the lamp and returning to the bed. She lifted the quilt and the camping bag to slide in beside him, trying to keep her motions smooth.

  “It’s me, Chief.” She grasped his hand and squeezed. “I’m right beside you in the bed. See?” She snuggled up to his sweat-soaked body. “Soft and real breasts, remember?”

  A chuckle rumbled up from John’s chest. “I still haven’t seen them in person, but I remember how they feel.”

  “Good. I have them right here.” She squirmed a little against him, pressing her breasts to his side. “Try to get some sleep, John. I’ll let you know if there’s anything to be worried about. Ten-four?”

  “Copy that.” His voice sounded sleepy. “Thank you, Lindsey.”

  “You’re welcome.” She smiled
. “Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

  His tired chuckle warmed her heart as she held his body close.

  Chapter Nine

  The next two days were an exercise in patience and endurance. In her more humorous moments, Lindsey wondered if she’d run into her own version of Hell Week. John swung from episodes of delirium to whole hours of lucidity. The lucidity allowed her to get to know him, but when the shakes would take him, his frustration at his weakness overrode everything else, she could only hold on for the ride.

  In a quiet moment when John needed space the day after they arrived, Lindsey found time to text Courtney their situation report.

  Hey, Courtney. Date went well, but lost the phone over the dam. It was a wild time. Picked up the cutest Armani dress and hung it in the closet. It wasn't on sale but it needs some cleaning so can't wear it right away. How are you? Jenna.

  Lindsey scrubbed her hands over her face. Damn right, he needs some cleaning. The ketamine messed with John’s mind on the recovery, and his nightmares had been horrific. She’d held him through most of them, talking to him to keep him anchored in the present. And to keep him from killing me.

  Her phone chirped with an incoming text.Damn, girl, where have you been? I was worried. Glad to hear date went well. Sucks about phone. Was the dress damaged?

  Define damaged. Lindsey sighedand typed out her new message.No, just needs a good cleaning. When it’s ready, I’ll show you. Maybe I’ll bring my date by and you can meet him. Oh, and tell the Old Man of the Sea that next week’s plans are still good.

  She hoped Courtney understood she meant the Navy. They expected John in Coronado a week from Monday and she figured they could get him free of the detox by then.

  Will do. BTW, I found a sleek and sexy truck that Bill coveted. I’ll text pics to this number so you can show your date when you see him again. I bet he’ll recognize the make and model. So Courtney had found John’s truck. See you Monday for a run?

  Lindsey shook her head.No, I have plans, but Weds latest. Will show my date the pics. Can hardly wait to see them. :)

  Instead of a response, Courtney sent her two text photos and she scanned the sleek silver quarter-ton pickup with a topper. It showed signs of travel, but looked in great condition and screamed John all the way.

  Lindsey typed back a short reply then rose as she heard John moan from the bedroom in the back. Demons came at all hours and she’d promised to help him fight them. Even when they’re almost as scary as my dad’s.

  By Tuesday morning, John’s episodes of delirium and shakes had stopped, and he could easily move around by himself. He’d taken a few runs around the deer trails behind the cabin for PT, and Lindsey tried to pretend she didn’t enjoy it when he walked in the door and ripped his shirt off on the way to the shower. She hadn’t touched him intimately since the last night at the hotel, and chafed under the irony of missing it.

  It was just part of the job, Jarvis. He needs friendship and professionalism more than sexual release…dammit.

  When he returned to the kitchen, the sun glinted off his wet hair as he scrubbed the towel over his head. She inhaled the scents of vanilla and sandalwood from the shampoo she’d bought as he walked up to where she leaned over an old sci-fi book she’d found on the shelves.

  “Did you make coffee?” The heat from his body warmed her skin as he stood close.

  “Yeah. There’s a whole fresh pot over there.”

  He strode to the coffee maker and she surreptitiously watched his ass all the way. Beads of water dotted his back and sparkled like fairy dust as his back muscles flexed when he poured a cup. Oh, now you’re just waxing teenaged-girl. Your focus needs focus, Jarvis.

  Lindsey yanked her attention back to her book when John turned and sat down across the table from her.

  “What are you reading?”

  She couldn’t even remember, not with that gloriously hairy chest across from her. “Um.” She flipped the cover over. “Some science fiction story. It’s okay. How was your run today?”

  “Better. I’m still slow, but fifty-five hundred feet might give anyone trouble.” John frowned and sipped his coffee.

  Lindsey gasped and covered her mouth with one hand in dramatic surprise. “A SEAL admitting the elevation gave him trouble?”

  A sexy grin curled John’s lips at her ribbing. “Hey, now, don’t you go repeatin’ that to anyone, hear? I gotta preserve my reputation as a badass.”

  She laughed and closed the book. “Well, I think you’re badass to have come out of this so well. You should be ready to head in tomorrow.”

  He sobered and tipped his head. “Head in?”

  “Yeah, for a debriefing with Metro PD. We’ve been working on this case against Madame LeBeau for five years now, and I’ve been on it for two. They need what you know as an insider.” She shook her head. “With the information I’ve brought, you’re the link they need to bring the bitch down.” Her hand tightened around her mug. “She needs to be locked away forever.”

  “You won’t get an argument from me.” He scanned her face for long, thoughtful moments. “What will you do now, Lindsey? I’m sure your cover is shot to hell by getting me out. What’s ahead for you?”

  She inhaled long and slow, enjoying his scent along with the coffee. “I’m going to chop my hair off so it’s easily maintained, I’m going to let the dye grow out of it, and I’m going to take an ordinary detective job, like sex crimes or homicide. I’m done with undercover work.” She met his gaze. “I want to see my family, and have real friends, not just my handler. I want to talk to my mom and tell her how amazing she was while I was growing up. She not only held the family together, but took care of dad in a way the psych docs hadn’t even discovered yet.” She smoothed the mug’s handle with her fingers. “I want to see my sister, my dad, and my uncles, and remember what it’s like to have a family that cares around me.”

  Lindsey bit off her stream of words before they went straight into hysterics. She hadn’t realized just how tired of the game she’d become.

  “Sorry. Helping you through the last few days showed me what I’ve been missing and how far I’ve gone into loneliness and isolation. I didn’t mean to dump it all on you.”

  “Don’t apologize, Lindsey.” John peeled one of her hands off her mug and held it in his callused palm. “God knows I’ve been dumping my shit on you this whole time, and I couldn’t have gotten through most of it without you.” He snorted and shrugged, but never released her hand. “Hell, don’t tell anyone, but I think of you as my knight in sexy armor. The Navy put me through hell in hopes it would prepare me for any situation they could imagine, and all the ones they couldn’t.” He shook his head. “But all that training didn’t do shit when my body wasn’t mine to control. A SEAL’s only as strong as his team, and I’d have you on my team in an op like that anytime.”

  John rose and cupped her face with his rough hands. “If I haven’t told you yet, thank you for getting me out and being here when I detoxed.” He brushed his lips across hers and fierce yearning for more burned in her chest.

  You can’t have more. He’s a Navy SEAL headed for his duty in Coronado and you’re a cop in Vegas. Let him go, Jarvis. But her heart screamed with fury over the loss of something so fragile, she couldn’t give it a name. I won’t call it love. I can’t call it love.

  Her hands gripped his wrists of their own accord and she opened her mouth just as his tongue brushed her lips for entrance. Lindsey moaned as she sank into his kiss. He sidled closer, pressing the hard ridge of his erection against her thigh. The solid mass of his flesh through the cloth excited her and she rubbed her leg over the bulge.

  Searing-hot lust slammed into her and she met the thrust of his tongue with her own. He growled and slid his hands into her hair, angling her head to settle into their kiss. Vanilla spice filled her nose as he pulled her against his chest. Her gut tightened and her pussy spasmed. Holy shit this man can kiss.

  John pulled back an
d panted, his forehead pressed against hers. “Lindsey, I want to thank you properly. Would you let me?”

  “What’s your definition of a proper thank you?”

  “I’m going to take you into the bedroom and kiss you all over.”

  “All over?” Did her voice just squeak?

  “Yes, ma’am. All over. Will you let me?”

  “Hoorah, Chief.”

  “Hooyah, ma’am.”

  He dipped to pick her up and carried her like an old movie heroine into the bedroom where she’d held him through his nightmares. He laid her on the camping bag and tugged at her jean shorts until they slid off her hips.

  “Oh, nice. Commando.” John’s sultry smile wetted her nether lips. “I’ve wanted to taste you since you rode me the other night.” He dropped her shorts on the floor and knelt beside the bed. “I could smell your pussy, but I couldn’t get close to it. Now I want to savor you and say thanks.”

  “You know I was doing my duty to serve and protect.”

  He smiled up at her as he settled her knees against his shoulders. “And it’s my duty to acknowledge your efforts and serve you in kind.” He dipped his head and brushed his lips over her mound. “Let me thank you, Lindsey. Let me show you my full gratitude.”

  John’s tongue swept her clit and Lindsey saw stars. Pleasure sizzled throughout her body as he continued his sensual onslaught, his tongue dipping between her folds. Slick heat tickled her nether lips and John’s rough palms skimmed her hips.

  When he burrowed his tongue in her labia, Lindsey whimpered and squirmed in his grip. “Oh, my God, John.”

  He hummed with amusement, but didn’t stop his ministrations. He sucked her clit into the hot cavern of his mouth and squeezed her ass with one hand before tickling her entrance with his finger. Lindsey keened a wail as he slowly teased her, sucking harder on her nubbin.

  Fiery pleasure burned a path straight to her head as he thrust his finger into her pussy, rubbing the inner walls. She squirmed harder as he licked her pussy lips with long, measured strokes, matching the thrust of his finger to every swipe. Her orgasm built with each motion until the pad of his finger scraped over her pleasure spot and her arousal caught fire.